No matter how many connections you have, people you have dated, or how good at networking you are, without nurturing your business or personal relationships continuously, you cannot succeed long-term with those connections.
People are inherently self-focused. This is not negative in any way, it’s a survival instinct that allowed humans to live and evolve over time the way that we have. It is how we succeed and thrive in the modern world. But it does make it hard for people to connect and empathize as instinct. It takes a conscious effort to nurture your relationships.
The biggest question to ask yourself is a question of participation. Are you engaged in what you do? Do you show up on time? Do you respect the needs of others and the demands that their workloads and personal lives place on them? Is this relationship better off because you are in it? If the answer to that last question is no, then you are not participating in the relationship. If you are not bringing something specific to the table, then you cannot count on this relationship to have a solid foundation.
Collaborate with others. Ask for input. Everyone wants to feel both valued and heard. The more that you ask for help, listen to input, and recognize talent and hard work, the more likely it is that people are going to want to keep working with you. Empathize with others. Everyone has bad days and a behind-the-scenes story that helps define the decisions they make. If you can’t look at a problem or a relationship from the perspective of someone else, then it makes it much more difficult to be an asset in the relationship. You have to create less stress and nurture creativity in any relationship to strengthen it, and without empathy you’ll be hard-pressed to find ways to achieve that.
Treat everyone the same. This is one of the most undervalued relationship nurturing techniques. Sure, show deference to your CEO or your venture capitalists, but also treat them just as well as you treat the customers, the employees, and your vendors. The guy that comes in to fix the copier is just as human and just as valuable as the woman in the corner office. They can all be loyal to you, they can all provide you with social benefits, just as you can equally enrich and be vital to all of their lives in return. People often forget the people lower on the ladder, but if there is a plumber who has sixteen buildings all in need of toilet repair, the first visit that plumber will make is to the office where they are welcomed warmly, treated professionally, and where there has been a relationship nurtured. That intern that makes copies has valuable input and may well be in a powerful position that could help you later on in your career if they remember the way you helped them with a technical issue or encouraged them to take thier good idea directly to the boss.
It is an easy thing in any business to turn work into a numerical, analytical landscape that loses the focus of what all of us are here to do. Without people, there is no business of any kind. Without humanity, there cannot be success. Focus on providing resources and value to your relationships, and in turn accepting help and value from the other parties in those relationships, and you will always have a leg up, personally and professionally.
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