Part of being a motivational speaker, keynote speaker, or workshop leader is being persuasive. It is also important in being a successful entrepreneur, a positive leader, and a good networker. Motivational speaking is not just “speaking”, it requires convincing people to open their minds and see things from a different perspective. And so how does one become a persuasive person? How do you change minds, open up possibilities, and positively influence the people around you?

Use powerful words. People are primed to react more viscerally to certain words. Adding the word “because” to a request made people 33% more likely to let someone cut in line, for example. When talking about an incident you hear the word “accident” very differently than you hear the word “death”. No matter if they have negative or positive associations, words that evoke deep feeling like “fascist” or “ascend“ are more like to get people emotionally involved in what you are saying.

Amplification: If someone already has set opinions, forceful language and certainty -either in favor of or against- will amplify those opinions. If you express uncertainty you will soften those opinions. Using an emotional attack on a fact-based thought attitude will increase resistance, so a cognitive attack will be more effective. The same effect happens in reverse. Using a logical argument has little impact on a person who is emotional whilst an emotional argument is more powerful. Use this to your advantage. A little research on your client, audience, or the attitude of a boardroom can allow you to shape your words in a way that they will be more receptive to.

Talk about them. Ask about them. Don’t talk about “this company” or “the world” talk about “you.” Even if you don’t expect or want audience participation from a keynote speech, ask questions as part of the speech. Ask questions while preparing your ideas. Ask people about themselves before you leave. The more that others feel listened to and understood the more likely they are to listen to you, to give you more information about themselves, and to take what you have to say to heart.

Learn to explain simply, but without condescension. This one takes practice, but it is imperative for every person who wants to be influential. You may be explaining concepts to people who have no background knowledge of your field, or teaching someone new how to accomplish a certain process. To be truly persuasive you need to teach yourself the language of teaching and breaking down concepts in a way that makes the listener feel engaged and intelligent, not belittled and spoken down to. This is either an innate talent or requires lots of trial and error. One easy beginning is to explain how you learned this process, and the pitfalls you encountered and the mistakes you made, even if you make those situations up. Putting the onus on you, and not on them, can be very persuasive indeed.

In the end it’s about putting yourself into the perspectives of others and speaking from that vantage point. The better you are at understanding human nature, the more persuasive a speaker you can be.

Nurture Your Business Relationships

No matter how many connections you have, people you have dated, or how good at networking you are, without nurturing your business or personal relationships continuously, you cannot succeed long-term with those connections.

People are inherently self-focused. This is not negative in any way, it’s a survival instinct that allowed humans to live and evolve over time the way that we have. It is how we succeed and thrive in the modern world. But it does make it hard for people to connect and empathize as instinct. It takes a conscious effort to nurture your relationships.

The biggest question to ask yourself is a question of participation. Are you engaged in what you do? Do you show up on time? Do you respect the needs of others and the demands that their workloads and personal lives place on them? Is this relationship better off because you are in it? If the answer to that last question is no, then you are not participating in the relationship. If you are not bringing something specific to the table, then you cannot count on this relationship to have a solid foundation.

Collaborate with others. Ask for input. Everyone wants to feel both valued and heard. The more that you ask for help, listen to input, and recognize talent and hard work, the more likely it is that people are going to want to keep working with you. Empathize with others. Everyone has bad days and a behind-the-scenes story that helps define the decisions they make. If you can’t look at a problem or a relationship from the perspective of someone else, then it makes it much more difficult to be an asset in the relationship. You have to create less stress and nurture creativity in any relationship to strengthen it, and without empathy you’ll be hard-pressed to find ways to achieve that.

Treat everyone the same. This is one of the most undervalued relationship nurturing techniques. Sure, show deference to your CEO or your venture capitalists, but also treat them just as well as you treat the customers, the employees, and your vendors. The guy that comes in to fix the copier is just as human and just as valuable as the woman in the corner office. They can all be loyal to you, they can all provide you with social benefits, just as you can equally enrich and be vital to all of their lives in return. People often forget the people lower on the ladder, but if there is a plumber who has sixteen buildings all in need of toilet repair, the first visit that plumber will make is to the office where they are welcomed warmly, treated professionally, and where there has been a relationship nurtured. That intern that makes copies has valuable input and may well be in a powerful position that could help you later on in your career if they remember the way you helped them with a technical issue or encouraged them to take thier good idea directly to the boss.

It is an easy thing in any business to turn work into a numerical, analytical landscape that loses the focus of what all of us are here to do. Without people, there is no business of any kind. Without humanity, there cannot be success. Focus on providing resources and value to your relationships, and in turn accepting help and value from the other parties in those relationships, and you will always have a leg up, personally and professionally.